by: T. Primm
- Because we do not live in a perfect world and the reality is that many girls have been/are sexually active, what would you suggest they consider in deciding whether to become abstinent or how to protect themselves should they continue?
MEANS of sexual protection HAVE BEEN OUT FOR AGES. IT’S A MATTER OF BEING RESPONSIBLE. IF SHE IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE, SHE MUST HAVE HER OWN CONTRACEPTION. MOST MEN LACK THE RESPONSIBILITY TO BE PREPARED FOR SPONTANEOUS INTIMACY.
AS FOR ABSTINENCE, I THINK IT’S THE BEST OPTION. IF SHE HAD A PREVIOUS SEXUAL EXPERIENCE, ITS NOT TOO LATE TO START OVER. IVE NOTICED THAT MOST PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY GIRLS, THINK THEY HAVE REACHED A POINT OF NO RETURN WHEN THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG OR WHAT THEY CONSIDER TO BE STUPID. THERE IS NO BETTER TIME THAN THE PRESENT TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF.
- Why is it important for young girls to value their virginity?
I feel it is important because no one else will value them if they don’t. Young girls need to hold their bodies in high esteem and reserve the right to enjoy it for a man who is willing to commit his life to her practically, emotionally and mentally. The potential ramifications in all areas are too great. The best relationships are successful practically and emotionally. The romance aspect is important but the practical provides the foundation. In relationships, men tend to be the more practical while women are more emotional. Sex to me awakens and over sensationalizes as well as overcharges emotions…disadvantage women. Most of the time men start to lose interest once they have “tapped it,” which speeds up the emotional roller coaster the girl may be on.
- What do young men/boys REALLY think about girls who are virgins?
THERE ARE SEVERAL THOUGHTS IVE HEARD THAT MEN HAVE. My personal opinion is that a virgin represents faithfulness, strength, commitment, exclusivity, respect, amazement. These attributes are present in “wife material.” You can trust this woman in your home, around your family and friends, with your finances, with your dreams. Eventually, most men want to settle down and need a woman with those qualities.
In the immediate, most men would be turned off by a virgin because they know there will be a restriction on physical intimacy from little to absolutely none whatsoever. This is the last message a young man with raging hormones wants to hear.
- Is it possible for young girls to remain a virgin in today’s society when so many forms of media promote sexuality?
I THINK IT’S VERY POSSIBLE BUT THERE MUST BE A STRONG SUPPORT GROUP THAT INCLUDES PARENTS, ROLE MODELS, MORALLY SUPPORTIVE EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES AND PEER SOCIAL GROUP. THIS SYSTEM OF SUPPORT WILL ESTABLISH A LIFE VISION, MISSION AND GOALS, REGULATE THE AMOUNT OF BAD MESSAGING A YOUNG GIRL IS FACED WITH AND PROVIDE HER AN AUDIENCE THAT WILL HELP HER EXPRESS HERSELF AND PROVIDE FEEDBACK LACED WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
- How should I respond to my boyfriend if he says that he will move on if I do not have sex? What if he says, if I love him, I will do it?
I AM A MAN who loves DISCUSSION SO I FIRST WOULD ADVISE THE YOUNG LADY TO CHALLENGE HER BOYFRIEND AND ASK HIM TO EXPLAIN WHY? OF COURSE THERE WILL BE NO ANSWER GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM IN MY OPINION. HOWEVER, THE INFORMATION GATHERED WOULD HELP HER BETTER UNDERSTAND HIS MOTIVES AND IF HE WALKS, THIS BETTER PREPARES HER TO DEAL WITH FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS BETTER ON THE FRONT END TO POTENTIALLY AVOID THIS TYPE OF DISAPPOINTMENT.
AS FOR THE LOVE COMPONENT, I WOULD CHALLENGE THAT YOUNG MAN AND YOUNG LADY TO KNOW THE DEFINITION OF LOVE. THE BIBLE SPEAKS ON LOVE AS BEING PATIENT, KIND, AND NOT SELF SERVING AMONG OTHER THINGS.
- Is there any other advice you’d like to share relating to virginity, abstinence, protection, or young men in general?
VIRGINITY – A SPECIAL GIFT TO BE GIVEN ONLY TO THE PERSON WHO HAS MADE A MARRIAGE VOW TO COMMIT TO YOU, LIVE FOR YOU, FOR THE REST OF HIS NATURAL LIFE.
ABSTINENCE – FAIL SAFE WAY TO AVOID STD, TEEN PREGNANCY, COMPROMISED REPUTATION, ETC. IT WILL BE TOUGH BUT MADE EASIER BY SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH LIKE MINDED INDIVIDUALS AND LIMITING YOUR TIME WITH THE OTHERS BY DEALING WITH THEM ON THE SURFACE LEVEL/AS NEEDED BASIS.
PROTECTION – A MUST IF YOU ARE ACTIVE. NOT 100% SAFE FROM STD BUT THE PERCENTAGES ARE EXTREMELY HIGHER THAN NOT USING. PUT THE RESPONSIBILITY IN YOUR HANDS. RELYING ON THE BOY IS A GAMBLE AT BEST.
YOUNG MEN – MOST CANNOT BE TRUSTED SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN MOLDED BY A STRONG MALE ROLE MODEL DUE TO SINGLE PARENTHOOD, A PROBLEM ARGUABLY PERPETUATED MOSTLY BY IRRESPONSIBLE SEXUAL ACTIVITY. BOYS NEED TO BE RAISED TO BE THE LEADER IN THE HOME AND A LEADER IN SOCIETY. HOWEVER, GOOD MEN ARE MADE BETTER BY GOOD WOMEN. GIRLS NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER AND INFLUENCE THAT THEY HAVE AND USE IT FOR THE GOOD OF THE YOUNG MEN THEY DEAL WITH AND OUR SOCIETY.