4 Steps to Self-Actualization and Becoming the Best Version of You


Photo Courtesy of: palmsofwisdom.wordpress.com

4 Steps to Self-Actualization and Becoming the Best Version of You

by: Dr. R. Kay Green


Why is it so difficult for people to accept who they really are? In a word, pressure. There’s so much pressure — especially in today’s hypercompetitive and hyper-informed society — for people to be something they’re not. You get it from parents, from friends, from spouses, from television, from the Internet, from magazines, from advertisements you pass in the street, from nearly everything you see and do in any given day.


With all of the pressure that exists in today’s hypercompetitive, hyper-informed society, how does one truly accept themselves holistically? As Abraham Maslow highlighted, we all follow our own paths, it matters only how completely we dedicate ourselves to achieving the personal and psychological greatness that lies at the top. At the top of the self-acceptance pyramid lies the concept of self-actualization.


With self-actualization, you achieve expert control of your creativity, spontaneity, and problem-solving skills. You have assumed a comfortable and sensible morality. You operate with the ability to separate fact from fiction, while eliminating prejudice. It is, in its own way, the clearest definition of what it means to be enlightened as a person and as an entrepreneur.


The first part of self-actualization is accepting your true self, but the second part is understanding that the journey has no end point. To self-actualize, you must always strive to expand your horizons as a human being. To achieve success, you must always seek it. The potential to self-actualize is something that lies within us all. You must only make yourselves willing to progress and then take the steps necessary to unlock that self-actualization. Having stated this, here are four important steps to consider on your path to self-actualization:


1. Stop measuring yourself against others.

Most of us have the tendency to measure our self-worth by comparing our accomplishments and abilities to those of the people around us. If you want to see how you’re doing, the easiest way is to see how you measure up with your counterparts. It’s the surest way to demonstrate how far along are you on the path to achieving success. If you’re farther than others, you deem yourselves achievers. If you’re not, you tend to stress and work on ways to improve.


The problem is that self-actualization doesn’t have anything to do with the people around you. Notice the “self” part of the term. The only thing that matters is your progress, not the progress of others. If you hope to self-actualize — or at least get on the path to self-actualization — you must stop gauging yourselves against other people’s accomplishments. Whether it’s education or material things or even beauty standards, you cannot consider this as your standard. You must not work from a standpoint of how you compare; rather, you must work from a standpoint of where you are personally and independently of everyone else.


To achieve this step, you must be able to look in the mirror and say, “This is my portrait. This is who I am. This is my canvas.” With that canvas in mind, do everything in your power to not let your perception of others color that canvass. Only you can paint the picture of who you want to be. No one else is in control of your destiny.


2. Learn to accept yourself holistically.

It’s so easy to become dissatisfied with who you are and what you have accomplished. Oftentimes, when you look in the mirror, it actually serves to increase the negativity with which you think about yourself. You cannot fall into that trap. In order to self-actualize, you must accept your whole self — your strengths and weaknesses — and you must embrace them all. You cannot downplay your weaknesses or exaggerate your strengths if you hope to get anywhere in life. If progress is to be made, you must operate first from truth.


3. Understand that you are in control.

No matter how much influence an external factor might have on the people around you, the self-actualized remain unaffected. This is because they know exactly who they are, and can therefore always adapt (and adapt quickly). Because they do not lie to themselves about their own identities, strengths, and weaknesses, they have an immediate and clear picture of the adjustments they need to make to render the external factor irrelevant. Understand that the power you possess in terms of your outlook is absolutely astonishing. If you are realistic, honest, and above all, authentic, there is nothing you can’t achieve.


4. Don’t stop growing.

Those who self-actualize understand that the journey is never over. To self-actualize requires self-awareness, and self-awareness requires an understanding that there is no such thing as a finished product. There is no such thing as perfection and no such thing as an endgame. To be self-actualized means to understand that you must never stop growing as a person and learning as a professional.


To achieve self-actualization, when you conquer one thing, you must move on to the next. Self-actualization does not require any tricks or tools. To reach this level, you need only to accept who you are and then take the steps necessary to becoming the best version of you that you can be. Once you are 110% comfortable with who you are, who you’ve surrounded yourself with, and what you’re destined to do on this earth, you may begin your journey towards self-actualization.


As a final point, see who you are. Really see it. When you have seen it, adopt an attitude that you’re not afraid to go against the grain. Stop adapting to society and start being you. The empowerment that results will astonish you.


Dr. R. Kay Green is the CEO/President of RKG Marketing Solutions. She earned a Doctorate of Business Administration in Marketing, and has completed PhD coursework in Leadership and Organization Change. She also holds a Master of Business Administration in Marketing and Management, a Bachelor of Business Administration in Marketing, and an Associate of Arts in Marketing Management. She is affiliated with several prestigious universities and has instructed over 350 courses online. Dr. Green is currently featured on Huffington Post, Black Enterprise, Black News, The Network Journal, Business Review USA, Digital Journal, College View, Business New Hampshire Magazine, Bay State Banner, Reader’s Circle, North Dallas Gazette, Harlem News, Top News Today, One News Page, NE Informer, Women in Business PR News, Consumer News Today, Women PR News, San Francisco Chronicle, Houston Chronicle, Chicago Daily Herald, The Miami Herald, Book News Articles, Great Women Speakers, Great African-American Speakers, Marketing Experts, Black Experts, Guru.com and Savor the Success. She has received honorary distinction in the Who’s Who among Academics and Professionals and Who’s Who among Executives and Professionals, and is the recipient of various faculty awards, including the coveted Provost Circle Award and the Top Faculty Recognition designation.


Teen Pregnancy






For Many, It’s Simply Reality….

By: NR

Ok, before I invoke any outrage, let me start by saying that I am in no way promoting or condoning teenage pregnancy.  I will go on record stating that we must find a way to lessen the statistics in this area.

However, as the title so aptly states, for many, it’s simply reality.  The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that:

“In 2011, a total of 329,797 babies were born to women aged 15–19 years, for a live birth rate of 31.3 per 1,000 women in this age group. Half of teen mothers do not finish high school (CDC.gov, 2013).” Again, there needs to be better prevention to reduce these numbers. For now, however, let’s focus on sound advice for those that are in the situation.

Being a teen mother is not ideal. However, it is no reason to throw in the towel on life. Although pursuit will remain difficult (as with anything worth having in life), attaining all of your goals and being resilient during adversity is entirely possible.

Let’s use my mother, who had me at 17, as an example.  At 16, she found out that she was pregnant. Like so many scared young girls, she hid this from her mother (for 6 months to be exact, but please note that this is not a good idea).  She had me and went on to graduate high school, nursing school, and has had a lengthy career as a Registered Nurse.

Again, it is not easy and there will be many rough days and sacrifices.  Some of my mother’s sacrifices included undesirable part time jobs, a limited social life, heavy dependence on others for assistance, etc. The point is that it can be done.

Here are some tips in persevering toward your aim:

(1)   There are many RESOURCES available to you. Many will only inform you of forms of public assistance programs. However, there are mentorships, grants and scholarships, and area programs that are all there to assist you toward your goals.  Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with public assistance when long-term dependence is not developed.  However, you should use any form of assistance as a catalyst toward your goal and not a crutch for lifetime need.  Many available programs go unused yearly, so it is important that you ask around and use the internet to research information in your area. Girl, Amazing will also work to assist you with this.  Just let us know what your need is and what you are looking for.

(2)   Focus on your motivating factor. We all have something motivating us. It’s the reason we do anything. You will need to rely heavily on this and always keep sight of it, especially during some of the rougher days. My mother’s was me. She says that each time she felt like quitting her dead end job or dropping a class, she remembered me and all of her responsibilities. It didn’t feel like added pressure, but rather something she wanted to succeed for.  Her simple statement to herself on the days she felt like staying in the bed instead of getting out and handling business was, “Let Your Feet Hit the Floor!” (FYI…at 32 years old, I still have nightmares and flashbacks of her yelling this to me on days I tried to sleep in and avoid activity).

(3)   Talk to someone mature and knowledgeable. Oftentimes, out of embarrassment and shame, young girls will keep emotions bottled up and avoid asking the right questions. Finding a genuinely concerned and helpful individual will only help you thrive. This person may be someone that has gone through what you are experiencing. Her advice will be critical.

(4)   No matter what problem comes your way or knocks you down, GET BACK UP AND GO GET IT! We all have our own obstacles to overcome. While none of our struggles are the same, the thing that defines us and helps shape us into WOMEN is how we all respond to trouble.  Problems will never cease to exist. It’s a continual part of life. Life will undoubtedly go on whether you choose to fight or not. As young women, we are built to persevere nonetheless, so take the blow, grieve for a moment, then GET BACK UP AND GO GET IT!


Any other words of advice???

No Time for PMS!!!

PMSPhoto from:sodahead.com

Young women already have multiple responsibilities SO THERE IS NO TIME FOR PMS! Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a condition that affects women during 1-2 weeks before menstruation.  It can affect young girls and women of ALL ages. PMS usually causes young women to have headaches, body aches, acne, depression, irritability, food cravings, swollen and tender breasts, bloating, and a tired feeling that seems impossible to shake. It’s no wonder no one wants to be around us during this time. J


Many of us have simply dealt with this issue over the years. However, there are ways to combat it. Women need to realize that their symptoms are caused by an imbalance.  It may be aggravated by stress, poor nutrition and sedentary lifestyle. There are many supplements offered for relief of menstrual cycle. Your menstrual cycle is a part of the natural reproductive system. Therefore, it will take natural remedies to control it.  Also, keep a food and emotions journal. Make a list of the foods that aggravate your PMS. Food such as refined sugars, caffeine, chocolate, and salty snacks will surely make the list. Those are the foods you crave during your PMS. Fruit sugar from your apples, mangoes & papayas are natural sugars and should not cause as much trouble.


You can visit http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/premenstrual-syndrome.cfm#a for additional information and also ask our nurse any specific questions.